I've been hanging out on "Happy" for a while now. Maybe it's because I watched "The Pursuit of Happyness" a few weeks ago (a movie I love even though much of the movie feels less than happy). Maybe it's because I'm hearing people wish Happy New Year as we look ahead to turning the page on another pandemic year. Whatever the reason, my hanging out on "Happy" took me back to a conversation I had with my daughter in the fall, during a time when she was still working to find stable ground in her new life away from home.
There was a day, about six weeks into the semester, when we had a talk about "happy". She was now at her college of choice; she had earned scholarships enough to cover whatever she may need; she had been welcomed into the sorority she so diligently sought; and yet... there was this nagging feeling. Of what, she wasn't sure. At some point during our talk, I asked her... "Are you happy?" No sooner did these words come out of my mouth had I changed my mind about how we chose to approach this moment; so I then said... "Let me retract that question and ask a better one. Are you disappointed?" That different and better question led us down a discussion trail about life... the highs and the lows and how sometimes you can experience both simultaneously.
We live with the expectation that "happy is what happens when your dreams come true" (to quote Galinda as she sings "Thank Goodness" from the musical, Wicked). But if we're honest, we have to also admit that, sometimes... things happen on the way to "happy" for which we didn't plan. Sometimes, as Galinda also sings... "there are bridges you cross you didn't know you crossed until you crossed"... and these crossings cause you to feel differently than when you first set out to achieve your goals. Sometimes we learn that reality doesn't match the picture we painted in our minds of how things would be when our pursuit of happiness turns out exactly like we planned. And, to follow up on the questions I asked my daughter, she chose to answer them both when she said to me... "Yes. I am happy. And yes... I am also disappointed. I guess I just expected when I got the things for which I had been working, I would feel differently than I do." I felt that was a fair... and honest... and well-said response.
So, as I've spent some days hanging out on "Happy", I turned to the Word to let it guide my heart on how to set better goals for this Happy New Year. And in my planning and my praying, here is where I have purposed my heart as I plan for what is to come...
"Happy is the man who finds wisdom.
and the man who gains understanding;
For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver,
And her gain than fine gold.
She is more precious than rubies,
And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.
Length of days is in her right hand,
In her left hand riches and honor.
Her ways are ways of pleasantness,
And all her paths are peace.
She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her,
And happy are all who retain her." - Proverbs 3:13-18
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