Yesterday, as I rode with my dad down the road in the fish truck, we talked about Thanksgiving twenty-two years ago... when he was in the hospital with meningo-encephalitis. There was no sitting 'round the family table while carving a turkey feast. We took turns sitting with him in a hospital room while he watched things we could not see because of the swelling on and around his brain... girls spitting at him from out of the television... children playing in his bedside table... rats and cats and dogs in his room. We listened as he walked us to the window and told us of all the land he owned and we stood in the doorway every time he tried to hitch a ride home. We witnessed him lock himself in the bathroom where he proceeded to yank out all the lines and cords connected to his body while mocking my mom as she beat on the door, yelling... "Norman... Let me in!" Yes... this was the Thanksgiving of a Norman Rockwell painting. Not exactly.
Sometimes I think we have this picture of how the holidays will be. You know... Hollywood and Hallmark movies... and we are disappointed when reality doesn't match our made-up expectations. No one wants to spend a holiday in the hospital and yet... life often happens without first asking us what we prefer. As we talked about that Thanksgiving twenty-two years ago, my mind went to the many things for which I could give thanks in the days since then. I also thought about, quite ashamedly, the many times I missed giving thanks because I was wrapped up in the reality that things weren't going my way. I thought about some good times... some bad times... and some times, like now, when I never would have imagined where I would be. But now, as I reverse-engineer my story, I find many ways to be thankful for the situations I once bemoaned... the things that brought me here. To a farm. With my family. Spending days on end in a fish truck.... wrangling goats and sheep and cows and chickens while trying to keep them all from eating my flowers!
I don't know where you are or what you may be facing, but I know this... you can find things for which to be thankful. You might have to look pretty hard and the list might not be very long, but the reasons are there. I promise. I have learned that I often find what I am looking for. If I'm looking for things about which to complain, they come to me without much effort. But when I exercise the muscle that helps me grab hold of gratitude, my list begins to grow. I find I can be thankful even in the hard things that won't make their way into the perfect holiday portrait. So today, I leave you with this reminder...
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything GIVE THANKS; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17
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