I got a message yesterday from a friend who had a friend who wanted to buy one of my books but didn't have social media... or a computer. I asked for her friend's phone number so I could give her a call. When my friend's friend answered the phone, I had a conversation that went something like this...
"Danny... you probably don't remember me... but I have known you for forever! I remember being at the store where your Daddy worked and I was the one who answered the phone when your Grandmother... your Mother's mother... called to tell us that Elaine had delivered a little boy. We were all so excited, and I got to be the one to tell everybody. So, see... I have known you for FOREVER!" All I could say in response was...
"Yes Ma'am... you have! I don't know if forty-seven years is the same as forever but you definitely have known me longer than most anyone else!" We then talked about the many things she watched me do when I was younger... how I recited 'Twas the Night Before Christmas before I was two years old... how I was Farmer MacGregor in my kindergarten play... all the things to which other people paid attention and yet, I seemed to so easily have forgotten. Little did she know I was struggling to regain my confidence after some moments of self-doubt. Little did she know how she made me feel by reminding me of who I was to her so many years... forever... ago.
I write about confidence a lot, probably because it's what I need most; but I have to remember that confidence is a feeling and if you've been reading along for any length of time... then you know how I feel about feelings! Feelings are fickle. Feelings can fluctuate. Feelings are dependent on many things and we don't often fact-check our feelings. Confidence is the feeling that I can rely on someone or something and the truth is... I can let myself down harder than anybody I know. When the feelings of confidence fade into those of doubt and uncertainty, it takes some work for me to find my way back. Yesterday's moment with the lady who had known me for "forever" reminded me where I could go to find some truth from the One who knows me better than me. She reminded me of the blessed assurance of the One who knows the full details of my story... even of the days that have yet to happen. So, when you find yourself feeling a little uncertain, lacking confidence in your own story...
Talk to the One who has known you for "forever". Let Him remind you of who He knows you to be. Find your confidence in Him for His feelings for you are for real...
and forever!
"Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand." - Psalm 139: 17-18
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